When nothing is going right

Anyone who knows me, knows animals are my life and to work with animals is all I want in life. To go further with college, continuing study and qualify as a Veterinary Nurse has been my goal for years and all I have been focusing on. I've come to that stage after two years of PLC courses and many other courses, where its my time to go into IT level and that is all I want to do. I'm a self named book nerd and I genuinely love studying, I'm not ready to give it all up yet I want to learn more. But that's where my problems starts as there's only around 8 places offered in Ireland and their randomly computer picked and England is £9,000 a YEAR for their courses, my chances are low to non-existent.

At the moment I have given up trying to continue into college as it is just impossible. It will always be in the back of my mind to go through with it one day but at the minute I'm focusing on trying to get a career in this area. But then this has been a disaster too as interviews I've had, one including my dream job that I have been volunteering at for three years, have been unsuccessful. One says my experiences and knowledge are amazing and something I should be proud of but not suited for the role and the other says I don't have enough experience to be suited for the role... little help here lads.

I'm feeling a little lost in limbo right now. I have the world before me to do what I want with my life but I'm not able to do the things I really truly want to do. Okay I know everyone says never give up you have to keep trying and you will get there in the end, and I do believe that it does work out in the end, most times even better than expected but I'm an organizer and planner I like to have things ready and know where I'm going and what I'm doing, this being unprepared not knowing what I can do or where I can go its driving me crazy.

I can take off, go travelling, like I have always wanted to, but for that I need money and that requires a job but they want experience and qualifications that I can't get unless I get into college which I can't get into without money and experience... ahhhhh its a crazy never ending circle, how do you manage adult life.

I like to be one of those people spreading positivity, and usually I am, but reading back on this post its not really been all that positive but here's hoping in awhile I get to update you on whats going good.  I guess everybody goes through these stressful times, not knowing if their coming or going and the only thing to do is listen to Dory and "Just Keep Swimming".